High Tobacco Taxes Force Local Man To Quit Job, Enter Underground Tobacco Trade
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A Lewis County man has reportedly quit his regular job this week after realizing Washington’s tobacco taxes had made cigarettes, chew, and nicotine pouches valuable enough to support a thriving underground economy. Friends say the man came to the decision shortly after legally purchasing a can of dip and concluding that crime now offered a more stable financial future than honest work.
Neighbors say the man has since become known as the local guy who can quietly get people “what they need,” usually from the driver’s seat of a pickup, near a gas station parking lot, or by dramatically opening a trench coat like some kind of small-town nicotine salesman. Customers described the arrangement as surprisingly professional, with some even praising his prices as “still outrageous, but at least not Olympia outrageous.”
State officials called the rise in underground tobacco sales “deeply concerning,” while also expressing confusion over how taxing a legal product into luxury-item territory could have possibly created a black market. Lawmakers are expected to study the issue carefully before responding with another tax increase.
At the time of this report, local smokers were reportedly asking friends, coworkers, and at least one cousin if they knew a guy selling Marlboros out of a garage.
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