Lewis County Commissioners Hold Secret Late-Night Meeting In Van To Discuss Budget Crisis, Accidentally Solve It

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an effort to find new ways to shore up the county’s struggling budget, Lewis County commissioners reportedly held a highly confidential strategy meeting late Monday night inside a vintage Volkswagen van parked under a streetlight at an undisclosed location.

Witnesses say the van quickly filled with thick smoke as commissioners carefully evaluated several potential revenue options, including a public safety tax, spending cuts, and "whatever sounded like a really good idea at the moment."

After several hours of intense policy discussion, officials allegedly reached a breakthrough: simply allow more marijuana retail shops in the county and let the state's 37% cannabis tax start flowing in.

At press time, commissioners confirmed they will soon send out a public survey asking residents whether they support cannabis zoning or if they'd prefer the county hold all future budget meetings inside the van.

—Dean

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