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Event | September 20, 2026

Free Tire Disposal Ruins a Perfectly Good Winlock Tradition

LEWIS COUNTY — Lewis County offers free tire disposal, giving Winlock and Vader residents a legal alternative to leaving them at the end of a dead-end road.

Poop | October 1, 2026

Morton Hangs Tiny Portable Toilets in Jubilee Park So Bees Have Somewhere to Poop

MORTON, WA — After residents raised concerns about bee poop around town, the City of Morton has reportedly taken decisive action by installing several tiny portable toilets in the trees at Jubilee Park.

Chugga-Chugga-Choochoo | September 19, 2026

Fall Train Rides Return, Parents Pay to Show Kids Trees

CHEHALIS — Fall excursions are returning to the Chehalis-Centralia Railroad as families prepare for the annual tradition of boarding a historic train to observe trees doing exactly what trees outside their homes are also doing.

Local Sports | September 26, 2026

Lewis County Football Week 4: Apparently Defense Was Optional

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Week 4 arrived Friday night, bringing another collection of blowouts, heartbreak and scoreboard abuse.

Local Sports | September 19, 2026

Lewis County Football Week 3: Scoreboards Continue to Be Abused

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Week 3 arrived Friday night, and Lewis County football has apparently settled into its natural rhythm: some teams are undefeated, some score 70 every week, and W.F. West has decided touchdowns are a luxury item.

Events | July 10, 2026

Lewis County Annual Festival Guide for 2026

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Lewis County Festival season guide for summer events happening throughout the County including dates and times.

Bazaar Chicks | September 19, 2026

Country Chicks Market Opens, Decorative Pumpkin Economy Surges

LEWIS COUNTY — The Country Chicks Fall Market is headed to the Southwest Washington Fairgrounds, officially marking the point in the calendar when ordinary pieces of wood become $38 home decorations because someone painted the word “HARVEST” on them.

Football | September 5, 2026

Lewis County Football Returns, Apparently With a Grudge

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — High school football returned Friday night, and several Lewis County teams apparently spent the offseason preparing for something considerably more serious than a recreational sporting event

General | October 10, 2026

Lewis County Football Week 6: Scoreboards Getting Close To Needing An Extra Digit

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Week 6 brought another Friday night of shutouts, close calls and one score that appears to have wandered over from basketball season.

Independence Day | June 27, 2026

Lewis County Fourth Of July Planning Guide For People Who Like Freedom, Fireworks, And Getting Home Before Traffic Gets Crazy

LEWIS COUNTY — A Lewis County Fourth of July planning guide covering Centralia, Chehalis, Pe Ell, Mossyrock, Mineral, Randle, Vader and other local fireworks celebrations for 2026.

Local | October 10, 2026

County Manager Resigns, Lewis County Learns It Had One

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — News of County Manager Ryan Barrett's resignation has reportedly sent shockwaves through Lewis County, where residents were stunned to discover the county had a manager in the first place.

Local Government | June 5, 2026

County Discovers Residents Still Have 0.3% Of Money Left

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Lewis County leaders discuss a possible public safety sales tax after discovering residents may still have 0.3% of their money left.

Fair | August 16, 2026

Dad Spends $73 Winning Child Stuffed Animal Available Online for $6.99

CENTRALIA — A Lewis County father reportedly spent $73 at the Southwest Washington Fair this week successfully winning his daughter a stuffed animal later discovered online for $6.99.

Electricity | September 19, 2026

PUD Discusses Rates, Local Dads Shut Off Another Light

LEWIS COUNTY — Lewis County PUD has begun the public process of considering electric rates for 2027 and 2028, prompting residents across the county to begin aggressively switching off lights in rooms nobody is currently occupying.

Shopping | September 6, 2026

Chamber Encourages Residents to Choose Local, Except When Tuscany Is Available

CHEHALIS, WA — Centralia-Chehalis Chamber reminds residents to shop local—right after everyone gets back from Tuscany.

Sports | September 13, 2026

Lewis County Football Week 2: Some Teams Chose Violence

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Week 2 of high school football is in the books, and Friday night provided everything Lewis County expects from September

Volcano | September 5, 2026

Lewis County Launches ‘Volcano Country’ Campaign, Remembers Mount St. Helens Exists

Lewis County’s new “Volcano Country” campaign puts Mount St. Helens at the center of its tourism push.

Local | July 3, 2026

Local Brother Vows Victory As Siblings Prepare For Annual Roman Candle War

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A local brother vows victory as siblings prepare for their family’s annual Roman Candle War, a backyard Fourth of July tradition built on confidence, chaos, and terrible safety decisions.

Support | June 8, 2026

Local Man Still Waiting For “Hug” Sent Two Weeks Ago

MORTON, WA — A local man remains confused two weeks after receiving a text saying “Sending hugs,” wondering when the emotional package is supposed to arrive and whether it includes tracking information.

Teen Angst | September 20, 2026

Local Goth Kid Unaffected by White After Labor Day Rule

CENTRALIA — While Americans across the country spent Labor Day quietly wondering whether the decades-old rule about wearing white still applies, one local teenager reportedly entered September completely unaffected.

Burn Ban | August 16, 2026

County Officials Clarify ‘Total Burn Ban’ Also Applies to Gary

LEWIS COUNTY — County officials issued an important clarification this week reminding residents that Lewis County's total outdoor burn ban does, in fact, also apply to Gary.

Movie | June 8, 2026

He-Man Goes PC for Masters of The Universe Reboot

ETERNIA — Political correctness reaches Eternia as Hollywood updates He-Man with new pronouns, a softer sword, and a box office strategy powered entirely by bad ideas

Law Enforcement | May 28, 2026

Lewis County Sheriff’s Office Replaces Drug Dogs With Cocaine Bear

LEWIS COUNTY — The Lewis County Sheriff’s Office has reportedly replaced its drug-sniffing dogs with one highly motivated cocane bear.

Events | July 11, 2026

Chehalis Residents Quietly Begin Preparing Beards Ahead of ZZ Top Tribute Concert

CHEHALIS, WA — Local men reportedly begin preparing facial hair and dusting off sunglasses ahead of next week's ZZ Top tribute concert in Chehalis.

Local | July 19, 2026

Local Aristocrats Flaunt Wealth by Wearing Summer Whites and Playing Croquet Before Labor Day

CHEHALIS, WA — Local aristocrats gathered on a perfectly trimmed lawn this weekend to flaunt their enormous wealth by wearing spotless summer whites and playing croquet before Labor Day.

Windy | September 26, 2026

Centralia Tree Relocates Without City Approval

LEWIS COUNTY — Strong winds swept through Lewis County Friday, knocking down trees, disrupting power and creating cleanup work across the region.

Spizzorts | October 3, 2026

Lewis County Football Week 5: The Scoreboards Have Requested Overtime Pay

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Week 5 arrived with another collection of blowouts, shutouts and scores that suggest several defensive coordinators spent the weekend reconsidering their career choices.

Holiday | June 16, 2026

Juneteenth: The Day Republicans Freed the Slaves Democrats Wanted to Keep

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A Juneteenth reminder that history has a way of making modern political talking points very uncomfortable.

Local | May 14, 2026

Drivers Remain Stuck At 4-Way Stop After Everyone Insists Everyone Else Go First

CENTRALIA, WA — A local 4-way stop spirals into gridlock after overly polite drivers keep waving each other through, trapping traffic in a never-ending courtesy standoff.

Local | September 19, 2026

Lewis County Begins 2027 Budget, Discovers Money Still an Issue

LEWIS COUNTY — County officials are beginning work on the 2027 budget, initiating the annual process of determining how to pay for roads, employees, public safety, buildings and approximately 400 things residents assumed were funded by “the state or something.”

Local Sports | May 31, 2026

Napavine Tigers Politely Inform Rest Of 2B Baseball That The Trophy Is Coming Home

NAPAVINE, WA — Napavine wins its first 2B baseball state championship, beating Tri-Cities Prep 10–5 and capping a historic 24–2 season for the Tigers

Weather | October 8, 2026

Lewis County Exhausts Flood-Control Options, Asks Joe Biden to Tell River “Don’t”

CHEHALIS — Lewis County prepares for flood season with another annual meeting—and a bold new plan to tell the Chehalis River, “Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.”

Winning | September 20, 2026

Local Dad Celebrates Plugging HDMI Cable In on First Try

NAPAVINE — Local dad achieves the impossible by plugging in an HDMI cable on the first try, then celebrates accordingly with a Busch Light.

Local History | 2025/11/11

On Veterans Day, Centralia Remembers The Parade That Turned Into A Gunfight

CENTRALIA, WA — Every year on November 11, small towns across America line their streets with flags, put on uniforms that don’t quite fit like they used to, and remember the end of World War I.

Trend | June 7, 2026

6 or 7 Things You Can Do at Home on 6/7

LEWIS COUNTY — list of 6 or 7 things families can do at home on 6/7, the internet holiday nobody understands but every kid keeps saying anyway.

Local | May 13, 2026

Commissioner Sean Swope Channels Zacchaeus After Sacrificing Raise He Hasn’t Received Yet

LEWIS COUNTY, WA WA —Commissioner Sean Swope channels Zacchaeus by heroically sacrificing a future raise he hasn’t received yet, saving Lewis County almost enough money to notice

LOCAL | June 28, 2026

Sanitation Efforts Under Way After Centralia Pride Event

CENTRALIA, WA — Centralia crews launch an over-the-top cleanup after a local Pride event leaves George Washington Park covered in glitter, rainbow decorations, and small-town confusion.

Outdoors | May 22, 2026

Be Prepared: City Hipsters Expected to Descend on Rural Campgrounds for Annual Pretend-to-Rough-It Weekend

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Rural residents are urged to prepare as city hipsters descend on local campgrounds for Memorial Day weekend, armed with flannels, beard oil, espresso gear, and one weekend of survival skills.

Transportation | May 15, 2026

Chehalis Drivers Thrilled After I-5 Construction Zone Adds Surprise Whoop Section To Morning Commute

CHEHALIS, WA — Chehalis drivers discover the I-5 construction zone has added an unexpected motocross-style whoop section to their morning commute.

Chicken | May 9, 2026

Port of Centralia Commissioners Stun Community by Agreeing on Chicken

CENTRALIA, WA — Port of Centralia commissioners reach a rare moment of agreement by approving Chick-fil-A designs, giving locals hope that chicken sandwiches may finally unite government.

Hellelujah | September 26, 2026

Man Carrying Cross Defies Odds, Survives Centralia and the Storm

CENTRALIA — A man carrying a large cross through Centralia on Friday managed to overcome two formidable obstacles at once: a powerful windstorm and Centralia itself.

Sports | 2025/10/19

Lewis County HS Football Roundup — Issue #7

LEWIS COUNTY, WA—Centralia looks to play eight-man, Onalaska keeps feeding the wood chipper, Winlock keeps being Winlock, and Pe Ell-Willapa Valley unleash the Kraken.

History | May 18, 2026

The Day Mount St. Helens Blew Its Top

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — On May 18, 1980, Mount St. Helens erupted, reshaping Washington history, impacting Lewis County, and reminding the Pacific Northwest of nature’s power.

General | April 11, 2026

New Commissioner Shocked To Learn Experienced Officials Don’t Immediately Set Fire To Legal Strategy In First 90 Days

CENTRALIA, Wash. — Port of Centralia Commissioner Ally Pickard reportedly expressed frustration this week after veteran commissioners Peter Lahmann and Kyle Markstrom declined to abandon an ongoing legal strategy simply because the newest person in the room had a fresh feeling about it.

Food | April 26, 2026

Local Toilet Paper Sales Skyrocket Just Days After Chipotle’s Grand Opening In Centralia

CENTRALIA — Centralia’s new Chipotle opening sparks a humorous local surge in toilet paper sales as residents discover the consequences of extra beans and hot salsa.

Local | 2025/06/22

No Kings Protesters Take to the Streets of Centralia, WA to Remind Citizens That Trump Is Our President

CENTRALIA, WA — In what was intended to be a protest against patriarchy and authoritarianism, the 'No Kings' movement accidentally hosted the most pro-Trump rally Lewis County has seen since the last yard sale at the fairgrounds.

Local | 2025/07/20

Centralia Pride Event Followed Closely By Disinfectant Event

CENTRALIA, WA — City Brings Out Hazmat Team Just in Case the Rainbow Was Contagious

Local | 2025/04/19

City of Napavine to add 16 more fuel stations to Exit 72, because why not?

NAPAVINE,WA - In a stunning turn of events this week, Napavine agreed to add 16 more fuel stations just off Interstate 5 at Exit 72. When asked why, we were told, why not...

Life | April 18, 2026

Door-To-Door Window Salesman Refuses To Leave Until Local Man Buys 14 Windows

NAPAVINE, WA — A local man answers the door and accidentally buys 14 windows after a persistent salesman refuses to leave without a signature.

Local | 2025/09/28

State Unveils 'Healthy Youth Survey,' Politely Asks Children For Everything Short Of Their Social Security Number

OLYMPIA, WA — In a bold new privacy initiative, Washington officials announced the “Healthy Youth Survey,” a cheerful, school-day questionnaire that totally isn’t about harvesting private family intel

Local | 2025/04/12

Pe Ell Man Accused of Maintaining Eye Contact While Eating Banana -- Now Deeply Regrets Decision

PE ELL, WA - What started as a harmless afternoon snack has turned into a small-town scandal after local resident Gary -Banana Eyes- Thompson made the unsettling choice to maintain full, unbroken eye contact while eating a banana at the Pe Ell gas station.

Local | 2025/08/29

Local Man’s Beer Gets Warm While Waiting In Line Behind Old-Timer Explaining The “Old Days” To Cashier

ONALASKA, WA — A local man’s six-pack of beer reportedly rose from “crisp and refreshing” to “lukewarm disappointment” Tuesday evening after he found himself trapped in line behind an elderly gentleman giving the cashier a 27-minute history lesson on how things used to be.

Local Government | April 29, 2026

Olympia Tiny Home Village Shockingly Requires More Taxpayer Money To Continue Looking Like Place Everyone Pretends Is Working

Olympia, WA — Olympia’s Quince Street Village gets another taxpayer-funded lifeline as officials scramble to keep the costly tiny home project operating.

NOT SATIRE | April 12, 2026

Zac Eckstein Opposes Picking Fights, Except Apparently on Facebook

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Zac Eckstein says leaders should not pick fights. This article revisits a Lewis County Democrats Facebook post that did exactly that.

Local | 2025/11/16

Lewis County Democrats Delete Post After Backlash Over Attack on Winlock Mayor’s Family

LEWIS COUNTY—In a now-deleted Facebook post, the Lewis County Democrats targeted a family member of Winlock’s newly elected mayor after she shared a simple update about an upcoming Turning Point USA meeting for local teens.

Local | 2025/06/23

Chehalis Tribe Acquires Uncle Sam Billboard, Immediately Roasts Dances with Wolves

NAPAVINE, WA — In what local historians are calling the boldest plot twist since Kevin Costner grew a mullet.

Budget | May 2, 2026

New Lewis County Budget Analyst Says “You Should’ve Checked Trivago”

CHEHALIS, WS — Lewis County’s new budget analyst brings a Trivago-inspired approach to local spending, urging officials to compare prices before buying anything ever again.

Music | May 1, 2026

After 25 Years, Local Rocker Tells Girlfriend “The Band’s Gonna Make It”

CHEHALIS, WA — Middle-aged local rocker insists his band is finally about to make it after 25 years, despite living with his parents and playing mostly empty local gigs.

TRUMP | April 1, 2026

Trump Sends Artemis Crew To Moon To Replace “Man In The Moon” With Himself

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reportedly ordered NASA’s Artemis astronauts to the moon this week with one clear directive: remove the “man in the moon” and replace it with his own face, officially renaming the lunar surface feature “Trump On The Moon.”

Local | 2025/10/25

Double Rainbow Stuns Lewis County, Locals Report Leprechaun Sprinting Toward Fuller’s Market

CHEHALIS, WA — A rare double rainbow lit up the skies across western Lewis County yesterday

General | March 8, 2026

Local Family Deported To California After Repeatedly Saying “Warsh-Ing-Ton

Authorities say the relocation was necessary to contain a developing consonant situation

State | 2025/09/28

Bob 'Turd' Ferguson And Jimmy Kimmel Celebrate His Return To TV While Sharing Electric Horse Ride

OLYMPIA, WA—The political world was rocked this week by the deeply personal, and frankly unsettling, emotional distress of Washington State Attorney General Bob "Turd" Ferguson following Jimmy Kimmel’s brief suspension from late-night television.

Self EMPLOYMENT | April 15, 2026

High Tobacco Taxes Force Local Man To Quit Job, Enter Underground Tobacco Trade

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A local man reportedly quits his job to join Washington’s underground tobacco trade after state taxes make cigarettes and dip feel like luxury items.

Local | 2025/04/19

Napavine Residents Warned to “Brace for Chaos” as Road Striping Season Looms Like a Hungover Picasso

NAPAVINE, WA — City officials have issued a formal warning to residents: “Brace for chaos.” The announcement comes ahead of the annual road striping season, which in Napavine is less a maintenance project and more a community-wide endurance test.

Local | 2025/09/08

Lewis County Leaders Hold Emergency Meeting To Brainstorm Bold New Ways To Spend Money They Don’t Have

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — County officials convened an emergency “innovation summit” Friday to develop fresh strategies for overspending and mishandling taxpayer funds, sources confirmed.

General | May 3, 2026

Local Man’s Confidence Shattered After ‘Peel Here’ Wrapper Refuses to Do So

GLENOMA, WA — A local man’s confidence is shattered after a cheese stick wrapper clearly labeled “Peel Here” refuses to open, forcing him to hand it to his wife in defeat.

Sports | 2025/09/21

Lewis County High School Football Roundup Issue #3

Week 3 is over and apparently so was the Cardinals run game. While WF West keeps winning, Napavine is struggling to get things going. Here's the rundown.

Local | 2025/07/04

Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass — Because we care.

<p>LEWIS COUNTY, WA &mdash; If you're the type of person that hates to waste anything, especially toilet paper, we've created a nice infographic on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass &mdash; Because we care.</p>

Life | April 29, 2026

Local Father Has Best Day Of His Life After Son Asks If They Own A Pencil Sharpener

ADNA, WA — A boy asks his dad for a pencil sharpener and quickly learns that Dad’s pocketknife is apparently “close enough,” leaving him with a handful of pencils that look like they were sharpened by a beaver.

General | March 31, 2026

Lewis County Democrats Chairman Promises Weekly “No Kings” Marches, Public LARPing, And County Quidditch League If Elected

CHEHALIS, WA — Local Lewis County Democratic Party chairman Zach Eckstein announced this week that if elected county commissioner, he plans to bring weekly “No Kings” marches, regular public LARPing events, and a county-sponsored Quidditch league to Lewis County, giving voters the bold reassurance that local government can, in fact, become even more embarrassing

Local | 2025/08/21

Lewis County Commissioners Give Themselves Another Raise, Remind Employees There’s No Money Left

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — County commissioners have approved yet another salary increase, while reminding public works employees making less than half that to 'be grateful for the exposure.'

Local | 2025/10/17

Napavine Fire Board Upholds Proud Tradition, Fires Yet Another Chief ‘Without Cause’

NAPAVINE, WA—Another month, another chief. Napavine Fire Board keeps its perfect record alive.

Sports | 2025/09/28

Lewis County High School Football Roundup Issue #4

Onalaska continues to 'chop down' the competition, PWV steps down to 8-man football for a game, and Napavine suffer major blow and 3rd straight loss. Meanwhile, Wyatt Hoffman of WF West amasses 456 total yards against Shelton!

Local | 2025/08/15

WSDOT Unveils Bold Plan To Widen I-5 To 15 Lanes Everywhere Except Lewis County; ‘That’s What The Ramp Meters Are For,’ Officials Say

CHEHALIS, WA — Promising to end congestion in places that aren’t Lewis County, WSDOT announced an exciting new plan to expand I-5 to a glorious 15 lanes north and south—while preserving Lewis County’s quaint, artisanal two-lane experience through Napavine, Chehalis, and Centralia.

Local | 2025/05/26

Panhandlers Form Union, Claim Territorial Rights to I-5 Ramp Meters

LEWIS COUNTY, WA -With the introduction of ramp meters on I-5 in Lewis County, panhandlers across the region are rejoicing at what they call a 'once-in-a-generation business expansion.'

Food | 2025/06/08

Local restaurant makes food so good it'll literally blow your hair back

CHEHALIS, WA - Local restaurant, Northwest Salmon Smokehouse and Artisan Market, is using Smoked Salmon in their recipe's to such a degree, it's almost diabolical!

Politics | April 13, 2026

Lewis County Needs a Commissioner, Not a Cause-Driven Activist

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Is Kyle Wheeler running to govern Lewis County, or just looking for a bigger stage for activism? Voters have reason to ask before handing over a commissioner seat

Local | 2025/07/20

Napavine’s Pothole Becomes Historical Landmark and Space-Sized Icon

NAPAVINE, WA — In an unprecedented turn of events, Napavine’s legendary pothole on Rush Road has been declared both a Protected Historical Landmark and now officially large enough to be seen from space.

Life | April 24, 2026

Local Man’s Life Basically Just Joe Dirt But With Less Success

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A Lewis County man’s life closely mirrors Joe Dirt, just without the luck, charm, or happy ending, as his string of near-misses continues.

Local | 2025/10/19

Group of Delusional Old People Escape Old-Folks Home, Found in Centralia, Confused

CENTRALIA, WA — In a scene that baffled police, amused locals, and at least one park squirrel, a group of elderly residents escaped their assisted-living facility and were later found milling about George Washington Park during the “NO KINGs” rally.

Review | 2025/07/20

10 Movies Most Fitting for the People of Lewis County

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — You can keep your Marvel flicks. Out here, we prefer our movies with a little more mud, mystery, and misplaced priorities. Here's a list of real movies that hit a little too close to home for the fine folks of Lewis County.

Local | 2025/06/08

Sean Swope Channels William Wallace—Declares Lewis County “Non-Sanctuaried” with Tartan-Topped Proclamation

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - They say we’re a 'sanctuary county,' lumped in with big-city strongholds of open borders—and Lewis County’s finest nearly choked on their coffee when they saw the DHS list.

Local | 2025/06/08

In a huge misunderstanding, a Chehalis man was arrested after exposing his wenis

CHEHALIS, WA — What began as an innocent park stroll at Stan Hedwall Park on Saturday afternoon quickly devolved into a full-blown police intervention when a 42-year-old local resident innocently lifted his sleeve to reveal his 'wenis.'

Local | 2025/05/17

ADNA: Locals Furious That County is fixing what they complained about them not fixing.

BUNKER CREEK RD,ADNA, WA – To the Adna locals, Complaining about 'inaction', is easier than living through the 'action'. Adnoids are seeing their tax dollars in action and they're not happy about it.

State | 2025/04/03

Bob Ferguson's Master Plan: 10 Ingenious Taxes to Fund the - Department of No Fun

OLYMPIA, WA - Washington State's Governor Bob Ferguson Unveils Brilliant Blueprint to Ensure No Citizen Escapes the Joyless Grip of the State.

Politics, Community | April 24, 2026

City Officials ‘Monitoring Situation’ Expected to Continue Monitoring Situation

CENTRALIA, WA — City officials assure residents they are closely monitoring a developing situation and expect to continue monitoring it until further monitoring is required.

Sports | 2025/10/05

Lewis County HS Football Roundup — Issue #5

Wyatt Hoffman carved up the Aberdeen defense, Napavine doesn't like to win, PWV brings the fury of Zeus!

Local | 2025/06/27

Chehalis City Counsel to Penalize Store Owners with Fines for Repeat Theft Calls, Stating —Owners are at fault for criminals who keep stealing

CHEHALIS, WA – In a move that has locals scratching their heads, the Chehalis City Council (CCC) narrowly approved—by a 6–1 vote—a new ordinance that threatens convenience‐store owners with penalties if thieves keep returning for more.

Local | 2025/06/26

Mayoral Candidate Demands Apology From Nonexistent City Of Winlock Department For a Facebook Page It Doesn't Own. Eeesh!

WINLOCK, WA — In a fantastic display of digital detective work, mayoral hopeful America Lunsford fired off a letter to The Chronicle demanding Winlock’s non-existent communications office apologize for a Facebook page the city doesn’t even run.

Local | 2025/02/26

Lewis County Public Works will try to increase employment interest by offering candy

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - In a surprising move, Lewis County Public Works will try increasing employment interest by offering candy

Justice | April 24, 2026

JUSTICE: Modern, Less Boring Lady Justice Added to Lewis County Courthouse Foyer

CHEHALIS, WA — Lewis County unveils a modernized Lady Justice statue featuring a VR headset, digital scale, and a bold new look—leaving residents both impressed and slightly confused.

Local | 2025/05/09

Space Overlord Furious After Being Snubbed by Parade in Town Named After Him

VADER, WA - A certain space overlord, who asked to have is identity hidden, voiced his deep disappointment after not receiving an invitation to a small Earth town’s May Day parade—despite the town literally being named after him.

Life | April 26, 2026

If Every Town in Lewis County Had a Theme Song

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A Lewis County playlist imagines what theme song each town would choose, from Centralia to Mineral, with plenty of small-town jabs along the way.

Local | 2025/07/27

Father Teaches Son Valuable Life Lesson By Getting Stuck In A Hole He Told Him Not To Go Into

APE CAVES, WA—In what many are calling a masterclass in “do as I say, not as I do,” local father Greg Thompson provided his son, Timmy, with a life lesson he’s not likely to forget.

Easter | April 1, 2026

City Of Centralia Easter Celebration To Include Hiding Eggs In Potholes

CENTRALIA, WA — In what officials described as “a fun way to make the best of things,” the City of Centralia is reportedly considering an Easter event this year that would include hiding plastic eggs in potholes around town

Local | 2025/09/13

Lewis County Democrats dump Jesus, turn to Flying Spaghetti Monster

LEWIS COUNTY — In a not very surprising move, the Lewis County Democrats have completely turned away from Jesus to worship the deity of Pastafarianism, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

National | 2025/08/02

'Genetics Is Offensive,' Says Liberal With Bad Genetics After Dunkin' Ad Shows Man With Good Ones

DUMBSHITVILLE, USA — It’s official: the word 'genetics' is now offensive. After a recent Dunkin’ Donuts ad casually mentioned the word in reference to athletic ability, online activists immediately flew into a full-blown meltdown

Local | 2025/07/13

Lewis County Commissioners Turn to Giant Catch Basin to Address Homeless Crisis

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an ingenious, yet absurd move, Commissioners Scott Brummer and Sean Swope have unveiled their boldest solution yet: rather than funnel scarce grant dollars into shelters and rental assistance, they’ve installed an enormous catch basin in the heart of town.

Local | 2025/04/07

Mass Hysteria Erupts in Centralia as WinCo Foods Opens 24/7 as Walmart Scrambles to Hold the Line

CENTRALIA, WA — The grand opening of WinCo Foods has sent shockwaves through Centralia, as thousands (maybe hundreds) of determined shoppers stormed the aisles in search of 24/7 access to bulk snacks. Eyewitnesses reported scenes of cart-jousting and frantic potato-grabbing as locals declared freedom from their former Walmart allegiance.

Local | 2025/03/16

Brummer shows up for photo op in pajama's, Swears he wasn't sleeping.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - County Commissioners wake up from slumber to get their photo taken for the local news paper to honor employees that actually do their jobs. Brummer didn't get formal memo.

Politics | 2025/02/19

County Commissioners Aim For Guinness Book World Record!

LEWIS COUNTY, WA – The Lewis County, Board of County Commissioners, had a meeting this afternoon where the commissioners expressed their excitement in the possibility of breaking a Guinness Book World Record.

Potholes | March 20, 2026

GoFundMe launched for Napavine potholes after residents realize tax dollars may not be enough

Napavine residents jokingly launch a GoFundMe to fix potholes near City Hall, Washington Street, Rush Road, and Exit 72 after deciding tax dollars might not get there first

Local | 2025/07/03

Senior Citizens Demand Legal Use of 'Big Go-Kart Thingy's' on Roads Be Deemed Illegal

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A group of irate senior citizens marched to the Lewis County Jail today to announce a new piece of, what some are calling old-folks legislation.

Local | 2025/04/27

5 signs of a Lewis County Soccer Mom in 2025

Lewis County, WA – The - Soccer Mom - evolution has made quite the transformation since the 1980's. From affordable Mini Vans to untouchable Mega SUV's -- Here we've compiled a short list of how to identify a soccer mom in 2025.

Local | 2025/04/13

Karens Spread Like an Infection in Lewis County, Sparking Over-the-Top Reactions Everywhere

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - In recent weeks, Lewis County has seen an alarming increase in the number of 'Karens' — a term for individuals, often middle-aged women, who are quick to complain and demand special treatment, usually with an over-the-top sense of entitlement.

Hobby | April 26, 2026

Dad Surprised To Learn All His Clothes Are Shrinking After Picking Up New Homebrew Hobby

CHEHALIS, WA — A local dad who recently got into homebrewing has reportedly assured his family that the sudden shrinking of every shirt, pair of jeans, hoodie, and jacket in the house has absolutely nothing to do with the five-gallon batches of beer now fermenting in the garage.

Golf | April 15, 2026

After First Round At Riverside, Dad Explains To Son How A 120 Score Basically Makes Him Pro

CHEHALIS, WA — Local dad shoots a 120 at Riverside Golf Course in Chehalis and immediately explains to his son why that basically makes him a pro.

Sports | 2025/10/11

Lewis County HS Football Weekend Roundup — Issue #6

LEWIS COUNTY, WA—The Ducks gave new meaning to the words "Poop Deck" after making the Vikings ship a prime target, Napavine's Von Pressentin served up a five TD' sample platter, and the Bearcats Coleman and Serl put on a receiving show

Local | 2025/10/09

Local Reddit User: 'Saving Girls Sports' Is Insanely Pathetic And Anti-Trans'—Also, Massive Dipshit

LEWIS COUNTY,WA—Local reddit user, Password_is_batman, heroically took to the internet to tell the local reddit community of Lewis County about the "Lets Go Washington" petitioners and how evil they are!

Local | 2025/04/12

Fowl Play at Lewis County Coffee: Live Chicken Spotted Riding Shotgun, Sparks Feathery Debate

CENTRALIA, WA - Lewis County Coffee customers got more than their usual caffeine fix this week when an observant patron noticed a live chicken comfortably nestled in a parked car outside the coffee shop

Local | 2025/04/08

Washington State: Pro-Choice for Everything But Your Marlboro Menthol

OLYMPIA, WA - In a cringe display of legislative gymnastics, Washington State lawmakers have decided that while your body is absolutely your choice, unless, of course, you’d like to fill it with anything flavored like cherry tobacco.

Local | March 8, 2026

Commissioners Discover Marijuana Is Morally Acceptable Once Budget Is in Shambles

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — After years of warning that marijuana sales in rural areas would destroy the county’s values, Lewis County commissioners have reportedly discovered that those values become much less fragile when there is a budget deficit to fill.

Local | 2025/09/02

Police Chief Heroically Saves Morton From Dangerous Hour Of Extra Beer

MORTON, WA — Citizens of Morton erupted at a recent city council meeting after Police Chief Cole Cournyer bravely shut down every bar in town an hour and a half early during the Morton Loggers Jubilee, thereby protecting residents from the horrors of one more Coors Light.

Local | 2025/08/29

Family’s End-Of-Summer Trip To Walupt Lake Turns Out To Be A Full-Blown College Party Hangout

WALUPT LAKE, WA — Hoping for birdsong and the gentle slap of water on the shore, a local family arrived at Walupt Lake this weekend and instead discovered a pop-up university offering courses in Portable Subwoofer Studies, Shouting Across Water 101, and Intermediate “Woooo!”.

Politics | 2025/03/22

Bob Ferguson claims he's unaware of the vandalized Tesla Charging Station in Centralia.

CENTRALIA, WA - Governor Bob The Turd Ferguson confused as to why anyone would think that state Democrats had anything to do with the vandalism of Centralia's Tesla charging station.

Local | 2026/03/06

Lewis County Commissioners Hold Secret Late-Night Meeting In Van To Discuss Budget Crisis, Accidentally Solve It

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an effort to find new ways to shore up the county’s struggling budget, Lewis County commissioners reportedly held a highly confidential strategy meeting late Monday night inside a vintage Volkswagen van parked under a streetlight at an undisclosed location.

Local | 2025/06/28

Annoyed Wife —Makes Husband Sleep In Dog House For Not 'Knowing' She Wanted A Coffee Too

CHEHALIS, WA — Local woman Rose Buttree was at home tending to the garden when her husband Roger arrived home from town. When Roger stepped out of his truck, Rose noticed his hands were not empty. In fact, Roger had an —ice-cold— iced americano in one hand and a scone in the other.

State | 2025/06/22

From -Chicken Out- to Checkmate -President Trump Turns T.A.C.O. Insult into Triumph

WASHINGTON, DC — In a recent press conference that could only be described as a fiesta of mockery, the Supreme Ayatollah of Rhetorical Sass, Ali Khameneil, dubbed the President Trump a T.A.C.O.

Science | 2025/04/18

Scientists Stunned as Jesus’ Tomb Found Empty—2,000 Years Later, Still No Bones

JERUSALEM - In a stunning display of academic head-scratching, a team of world-renowned archaeologists and scientists announced today they are 'completely dumbfounded' by the discovery of an ancient tomb labeled 'Jesus' that contains—brace yourself—absolutely nothing.

Local | 2025/04/12

Local hero returns purse found in Home Depot parking lot, rewarded with honorary birdhouse builders kit.

CHEHALIS, WA - In a heartwarming twist that momentarily restored faith in humanity, a local good Samaritan discovered an abandoned purse at Home Depot and chose the path less traveled -- turning it in. Witnesses say the individual resisted the temptation of unspent gift cards and expired gum, instead marching the lost bag straight to customer service.

Local | 2025/03/17

Local heroes save the day after woman with horrible eye sight reports a cat stuck in tree

CHEHALIS, WA – A normal day turns into anything but, for a local Chehalis woman, as she spots a stranded cat atop a tree and summons local heroes to rescue it

Food | 2025/03/09

With the arrival of Chick-Fil-A, Centralia expecting epic Sign Battles.. Or Else!

CENTRALIA, WA - As a condition to build in Centralia Station, located off I-5 at exit 81, Chick-fil-a must participate and initiate sign battles with local businesses.

Local | 2025/07/27

Lewis County Dad Bods Declare Victory After Fitting Into Size 32 Stretchy Jeans

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In a stunning breakthrough for dad bods everywhere, men across the nation have reported slipping effortlessly into jeans labeled four sizes smaller than their actual waistlines, thanks to a miracle of modern science: stretchy denim.

Local | 2025/04/06

Cape-Wearing Commissioner Sean Swope Rides Natural Gas Tank Into Battle Against Statewide Ban

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In a historic display of heroism that historians are already comparing to Paul Revere, local legend and gas-powered gladiator Sean Swope has passed a resolution to protect the good people of Lewis County from the looming threat of natural gas bans sweeping across the state of Washington.

National | 2025/04/04

Democrats Rally Behind Mexican Gang Member Dad, Claim - He's Just Misunderstood

MARYLAND - In a groundbreaking move of empathy-over-logic, Democrats urge the nation to reconsider the deportation of Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, a man they think might just need a hug.

Local | 2025/04/03

Teen Criminal Masterminds Confounded That Beating a Man, Stealing Car, Brandishing Gun Leads to Standoff With SWAT

CHEHALIS, WA — In what will surely go down as one of the most brilliant criminal schemes of the decade, two teenage boys with a stolen car, armed with a stolen gun, found themselves utterly baffled when their actions led to an hours-long standoff with law enforcement.

Local | 2025/03/09

Lewis County Sheriffs Office now imposing Tariffs on all criminals that want to commit crime.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - As another way to combat the current budget crisis, Lewis County has proposed new legislation that will impose steep tariffs on criminals that want to do crime.