Chehalis Tribe Acquires Uncle Sam Billboard, Immediately Roasts Dances with Wolves

Local | 2025/06/23

NAPAVINE, WA — In what local historians are calling “the boldest plot twist since Kevin Costner grew a mullet,” the Chehalis Indian Tribe has reportedly acquired the iconic Uncle Sam billboard off I-5 — and wasted no time rebranding it for a bit of cinematic justice.

Within 24 hours of the purchase, Uncle Sam was unceremoniously replaced by a stoic Native American chief, whose steely gaze now surveys the freeway with the silent disappointment of a thousand misrepresented ancestors. The message beside him? A scathing takedown of 1990’s beloved, Oscar-winning epic: “DANCES WITH WOLVES WAS A TRAVESTY!”

“We figured it was time the sign told the truth,” said tribal spokesperson Two-Times-Roasted. “We’re not mad at Kevin, but let’s not pretend a white guy running around in buckskin qualifies as cultural enlightenment.”

The billboard has since gone viral, sparking a nationwide conversation and at least three awkward Costner-themed apology TikToks. Rumor has it next week’s message may tackle Pocahontas. God help Disney.

-Harry Snutts

DISCLAIMER: Not all the contents of this article are accurate. As a matter of fact, while not everything we post is fake news, most of it is.