Lewis County Exhausts Flood-Control Options, Asks Joe Biden to Tell River “Don’t”
CHEHALIS — After years of flood studies, preparedness meetings, mitigation plans and repeated winter flooding, Lewis County officials have reportedly settled on a new strategy for keeping water out of the Chehalis River Valley: asking former President Joe Biden to tell it to stop.
Biden is expected to address incoming rain systems using the same diplomatic approach he once used when warning Russia against using chemical or tactical nuclear weapons in Ukraine.
“Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.”
County officials say the message will be delivered directly toward the Chehalis River sometime before the first atmospheric river arrives, replacing several decades of engineering studies, flood-control proposals and public meetings that have so far failed to convince water to remain where everyone would prefer it.
The announcement comes as Lewis County prepares for its annual flood meeting, where residents will once again receive information about emergency alerts, river gauges, evacuation routes and other tools designed to help them prepare for the flooding everyone has already spent years preparing for.
Officials remain optimistic that Biden’s unusually concise flood-control strategy could succeed where previous efforts have struggled.
“If the river still comes over its banks after being told ‘Don’t’ three separate times,” one county official reportedly said, “we’re honestly getting pretty low on options.”
Residents in Chehalis, Centralia and other flood-prone areas are encouraged to continue normal preparations just in case the river chooses to escalate.
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