Door-To-Door Window Salesman Refuses To Leave Until Local Man Buys 14 Windows
NAPAVINE, WA — A local man is reportedly recovering after answering his front door Tuesday afternoon and being immediately trapped in what witnesses described as a “surprise hostage-style window consultation.”
According to sources, the salesman opened with the traditional phrase, “I’m not here to sell you anything,” before spending the next 47 minutes explaining how the man’s current windows were “basically holes in the wall with glass shoved in them.” The homeowner attempted several escape tactics, including claiming he was busy, renting, broke, and “just watching the house for a friend,” but the salesman calmly responded to each objection with a financing plan and another laminated brochure.
Neighbors say the salesman was later seen circling the house, pointing at different windows and shaking his head like a doctor delivering bad news. “This one’s costing you money,” he reportedly said while tapping on a garage window that hadn’t opened since 2009.
By the end of the encounter, the exhausted homeowner had agreed to purchase 14 new windows, including two he wasn’t entirely sure existed before the consultation began. The salesman finally left the property satisfied, but only after asking if anyone had talked to him yet about his doors.
—Dean
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