Senior Citizens Demand Legal Use of 'Big Go-Kart Thingy's' on Roads Be Deemed Illegal

Local | 2025/07/03

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A group of irate senior citizens marched to the Lewis County Jail today to announce a new piece of, what some are calling old-folks legislation. This legislation is to a recognize a law, that only exists amongst themselves, to make legally joy riding in a road legal Side-By-Side, now illegal — in their eyes.

"For Pete's Sake! These young whipper-snappers tooling around in them big go-karts thinking its ok just because they got a license to do it?" said Centralia resident John Ebbert Sr. " Well, that makes me madder than a wet hen!"

Meanwhile, 42-year-old John Smith—unimpressed by the theatrics—admitted he was baffled by the whole affair. "I'm just not really sure what this is going to accomplish. If this is what retirement and getting old looks like for the rest of us, count me out!"

Only a handful of others wearing "Karens Against Everything" t-shirts agreed with the seniors and chanted in unison, "Lock'em up! Lock'em up!".

After the dust settled, we checked in with John Ebbert Sr and he's currently back at home drinking prune juice.

-Dean

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