No Kings Protesters Take to the Streets of Centralia, WA to Remind Citizens That Trump Is Our President

CENTRALIA, WA — In what was intended to be a protest against patriarchy and authoritarianism, the "No Kings" movement accidentally hosted the most pro-Trump rally Lewis County has seen since the last yard sale at the fairgrounds.

Armed with signs reading “Elected Not Crowned,” “Trump Is Our President, Not Our King,” and “Democratically Elected!”, the group’s attempt to paint Trump as a tyrannical monarch somehow morphed into a powerful affirmation of the 2016 and 2024 ballots. Locals, who hadn’t planned on attending a rally, joined in to show their agreement — mostly because the signs said exactly what they already believed.

“We came here to dismantle the patriarchy,” one confused protester stated, “but everyone just kept high-fiving us and thanking us for finally admitting Trump was legitimately elected.” By the end of the afternoon, the group had unknowingly boosted local Trump support by 11%, and accidentally endorsed two county commissioner campaigns.

-Dean

Trending Posts

Event | September 20, 2026

Free Tire Disposal Ruins a Perfectly Good Winlock Tradition

LEWIS COUNTY — Lewis County offers free tire disposal, giving Winlock and Vader residents a legal alternative to leaving them at the end of a dead-end road.

Poop | October 1, 2026

Morton Hangs Tiny Portable Toilets in Jubilee Park So Bees Have Somewhere to Poop

MORTON, WA — After residents raised concerns about bee poop around town, the City of Morton has reportedly taken decisive action by installing several tiny portable toilets in the trees at Jubilee Park.

Chugga-Chugga-Choochoo | September 19, 2026

Fall Train Rides Return, Parents Pay to Show Kids Trees

CHEHALIS — Fall excursions are returning to the Chehalis-Centralia Railroad as families prepare for the annual tradition of boarding a historic train to observe trees doing exactly what trees outside their homes are also doing.