No Kings Protesters Take to the Streets of Centralia, WA to Remind Citizens That Trump Is Our President

Local | 2025/06/22

CENTRALIA, WA — In what was intended to be a protest against patriarchy and authoritarianism, the "No Kings" movement accidentally hosted the most pro-Trump rally Lewis County has seen since the last yard sale at the fairgrounds.

Armed with signs reading “Elected Not Crowned,” “Trump Is Our President, Not Our King,” and “Democratically Elected!”, the group’s attempt to paint Trump as a tyrannical monarch somehow morphed into a powerful affirmation of the 2016 and 2024 ballots. Locals, who hadn’t planned on attending a rally, joined in to show their agreement — mostly because the signs said exactly what they already believed.

“We came here to dismantle the patriarchy,” one confused protester stated, “but everyone just kept high-fiving us and thanking us for finally admitting Trump was legitimately elected.” By the end of the afternoon, the group had unknowingly boosted local Trump support by 11%, and accidentally endorsed two county commissioner campaigns.

-Dean

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