Local Aristocrats Flaunt Wealth by Wearing Summer Whites and Playing Croquet Before Labor Day
Local | July 19, 2026
CHEHALIS, WA — Local aristocrats gathered on a perfectly trimmed lawn this weekend to flaunt their enormous wealth by wearing spotless summer whites and playing croquet before Labor Day.
Residents watched in awe as the elites casually stood near grass, dirt, and raspberry lemonade without displaying even the slightest concern for their clothing. Financial experts confirmed that wearing white pants outdoors is the clearest possible sign that someone can afford another pair.
The afternoon concluded with cucumber sandwiches, polite applause, and several stern reminders that anyone caught wearing white after Labour Day would be immediately stripped of their country-club privileges and forced to play cornhole with the working class.
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