Lewis County Commissioners Give Themselves Another Raise, Remind Employees There’s No Money Left

Local | 2025/08/21

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — County commissioners have approved yet another salary increase, bringing their pay to over $103,000 a year — over a 14% boost, a $12,973 increase, in just two years — while reminding public works employees making less than half that to “be grateful for the exposure.”

“Sorry folks, no money in the budget for raises,” said one commissioner while delicately placing another loaf of bread into his already overflowing basket of fish. “But we promise to think about you while cashing our six-figure checks.”

Public works crews, who actually hold certifications and licenses to operate heavy equipment, were unavailable for comment as they were busy keeping the county from collapsing into a giant pothole.

Local taxpayers noted the commissioners’ uncanny ability to multiply their own wages while simultaneously dividing everyone else’s. “It’s like a Bible story,” said one resident. “Except in this one, only the politicians eat.”

Commissioner Salary Breakdown (not satire)

Step	Calculation	Result
Step 1: 2023 Raise (10.95%)	$90,866 × 10.95% = $9,949 $90,866 + $9,949	$100,815
Step 2: 2025 Raise (3%)	$100,815 × 3% = $3,024 $100,815 + $3,024	$103,839
Final Answer	Total Increase: $9,949 + $3,024	$12,973 increase $103,839 salary (2026)