ADNA: Locals Furious That County is fixing what they complained about them not fixing.
Local | 2025/05/17
ADNA, WA – Mere weeks ago Adna locals, AKA "Adnoids", were united in outrage that Lewis County Public Works hadn’t touched the crater-riddled stretch of Bunker Creek Road since dial-up. Now that crews are finally on site grinding and repaving a work zone barely half a mile long, the same citizens are furious—this time because the fix is inconveniencing their morning routines. “You expect me to wake up ten minutes earlier?” huffed lifelong resident and self-described efficiency expert Dale “Three-Minute Shower” Perkins while inching toward a flagger. “I didn’t petition for road repairs so I’d have to see the sunrise.”
Social-media threads exploded as Adnoids catalogued the new hardships: latte delays at the Adna Espresso Shack, two whole extra songs on the commute playlist, and the horror of children risking tardy slips because Mom’s shortcut is temporarily closed. One local posted a grainy video of the 30-second hold at the stop sign with the caption, “Government tyranny in real time.” Another demanded compensation for additional wear on his patience.
The County Road Engineer Soto remains philosophical. “Last month we were villains for ignoring the potholes; this month we’re villains for erasing them,” she said. Soto predicts harmony will return once the fresh asphalt is striped and open—at which point, she notes, “the Adnoids can get back to what they do best: wishing we’d fix the next thing without changing a single detail of their day.”-Dean
DISCLAIMER: Not all the contents of this article are accurate. As a matter of fact, while not everything we post is fake news, most of it is.
Politics | 2025/02/19
County Commissioners Aim For Guinness Book World Record!
LEWIS COUNTY, WA – The Lewis County, Board of County Commissioners, had a meeting this afternoon where the commissioners expressed their excitement in the possibility of breaking a Guinness Book World Record.
Food | 2025/06/08
Local restaurant makes food so good it'll literally blow your hair back
CHEHALIS, WA - Local restaurant, Northwest Salmon Smokehouse and Artisan Market, is using Smoked Salmon in their recipe's to such a degree, it's almost diabolical!
Local | 2025/04/03
Teen Criminal Masterminds Confounded That Beating a Man, Stealing Car, Brandishing Gun Leads to Standoff With SWAT
CHEHALIS, WA — In what will surely go down as one of the most brilliant criminal schemes of the decade, two teenage boys with a stolen car, armed with a stolen gun, found themselves utterly baffled when their actions led to an hours-long standoff with law enforcement.