Chehalis Residents Quietly Begin Preparing Beards Ahead of ZZ Top Tribute Concert
CHEHALIS, WA — With just days remaining before next Friday's ZZ Nation tribute concert at Music in the Park, area residents have reportedly begun quietly evaluating facial hair growth potential and locating sunglasses purchased sometime during the first Bush administration.
"I wouldn't say I'm worried," said one local man while inspecting a patchy section near his jawline in the mirror. "I'm just saying if everyone else shows up looking like ZZ Top and I look like the assistant manager at O'Reilly Auto Parts, that's going to be a long evening."
Several local hardware stores reported an unexpected increase in beard trimmer sales this week, while at least one Centralia resident admitted he had started listening to "Sharp Dressed Man" in preparation "just to make sure I know the words if it comes up."
City officials denied rumors that Penny Playground would establish a minimum beard length requirement for admission, though organizers confirmed lawn chairs, coolers and "an appropriate appreciation for 1980s guitar riffs" are encouraged.
The free concert featuring ZZ Nation is scheduled for Friday evening at Recreation Park as part of the Chehalis Music in the Park series. Organizers expect a strong turnout from local families, music fans and men who have owned the same pair of wraparound sunglasses for approximately 27 years.
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