Sean Swope Channels William Wallace—Declares Lewis County “Non-Sanctuaried” with Tartan-Topped Proclamation

Local | 2025/06/08

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - They say we’re a “sanctuary county,” lumped in with big-city strongholds of open borders—and Lewis County’s finest nearly choked on their coffee when they saw the DHS list. In response, Commissioner Sean Swope calmly traded his morning suit for a tartan-accented blazer and declared from the dais, “If you’re looking for sanctuary, you’ll find none here—only cooperation with our federal partners.”

Moments later, the Board of Commissioners convened a special session—pens poised like claymores—to draft a resolution stating plainly that Lewis County is not a sanctuary, but rather a willing ally in upholding immigration law. No grand proclamations of war, just a unanimous vote and a mutual pledge: “We’ll work side by side with DHS, same as always.”

Outside the courthouse, locals shrugged off the mix-up with good humor. So let every fir tree and fish-bearing river whisper this simple truth: Lewis County isn’t a refuge for the undocumented; it’s just dedicated to doing its part—no swords drawn, just paperwork signed.

-Dean

DISCLAIMER: Not all the contents of this article are accurate. As a matter of fact, while not everything we post is fake news, most of it is.