After 25 Years, Local Rocker Tells Girlfriend “The Band’s Gonna Make It”
CHEHALIS, WA — Local middle-aged rocker and part-time flooring helper reportedly reassured his girlfriend this week that his band is “right on the edge of making it,” despite the group having practiced in his parents’ garage since the late 1990s and still struggling to make it through a full song without someone yelling, “Start over.”
The statement came after his girlfriend gently asked if the band’s upcoming show at a friend’s backyard birthday party was “more of a hobby thing,” prompting the 47-year-old frontman to remind her that every legendary band had to pay their dues before finally landing a break. He then pointed to their 2003 Battle of the Bands second-place certificate, which remains framed next to his dad’s Craftsman tool chest.
According to sources, the band’s current lineup includes the same drummer who “might move to Nashville any day now,” a bassist who only knows four songs but “has stage presence,” and a rhythm guitarist who insists their sound is “kind of like if Pearl Jam, Nickelback, and Creed all got in a fight behind a Les Schwab.” The group has reportedly been working on its debut album for 18 years, though most of the recordings were lost after someone spilled Busch Light on the laptop.
At the end of the day, the rocker was seen carrying his amp back into his parents’ garage after practice, telling his girlfriend that once they tighten up the bridge on their newest song, everything is going to change.
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After 25 Years, Local Rocker Tells Girlfriend “The Band’s Gonna Make It”
