Lewis County HS Football Roundup — Issue #5
Wyatt Hoffman carved up the Aberdeen defense, Napavine doesn't like to win, PWV brings the fury of Zeus!
Sports | 2025/10/05
Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass — Because we care.
<p>LEWIS COUNTY, WA — If you're the type of person that hates to waste anything, especially toilet paper, we've created a nice infographic on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass — Because we care.</p>
Local | 2025/07/04
Senior Citizens Demand Legal Use of 'Big Go-Kart Thingy's' on Roads Be Deemed Illegal
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A group of irate senior citizens marched to the Lewis County Jail today to announce a new piece of, what some are calling old-folks legislation.
Local | 2025/07/03
5 signs of a Lewis County Soccer Mom in 2025
Lewis County, WA – The - Soccer Mom - evolution has made quite the transformation since the 1980's. From affordable Mini Vans to untouchable Mega SUV's -- Here we've compiled a short list of how to identify a soccer mom in 2025.
Local | 2025/04/27
Democrats Rally Behind Mexican Gang Member Dad, Claim - He's Just Misunderstood
MARYLAND - In a groundbreaking move of empathy-over-logic, Democrats urge the nation to reconsider the deportation of Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, a man they think might just need a hug.
National | 2025/04/04
Scientists Stunned as Jesus’ Tomb Found Empty—2,000 Years Later, Still No Bones
JERUSALEM - In a stunning display of academic head-scratching, a team of world-renowned archaeologists and scientists announced today they are 'completely dumbfounded' by the discovery of an ancient tomb labeled 'Jesus' that contains—brace yourself—absolutely nothing.
Science | 2025/04/18
With the arrival of Chick-Fil-A, Centralia expecting epic Sign Battles.. Or Else!
CENTRALIA, WA - As a condition to build in Centralia Station, located off I-5 at exit 81, Chick-fil-a must participate and initiate sign battles with local businesses.
Food | 2025/03/09
Lewis County Commissioners Hold Secret Late-Night Meeting In Van To Discuss Budget Crisis, Accidentally Solve It
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an effort to find new ways to shore up the county’s struggling budget, Lewis County commissioners reportedly held a highly confidential strategy meeting late Monday night inside a vintage Volkswagen van parked under a streetlight at an undisclosed location.
Local | 2026/03/06
Lewis County HS Football Weekend Roundup — Issue #6
LEWIS COUNTY, WA—The Ducks gave new meaning to the words "Poop Deck" after making the Vikings ship a prime target, Napavine's Von Pressentin served up a five TD' sample platter, and the Bearcats Coleman and Serl put on a receiving show
Sports | 2025/10/11
Local Reddit User: 'Saving Girls Sports' Is Insanely Pathetic And Anti-Trans'—Also, Massive Dipshit
LEWIS COUNTY,WA—Local reddit user, Password_is_batman, heroically took to the internet to tell the local reddit community of Lewis County about the "Lets Go Washington" petitioners and how evil they are!
Local | 2025/10/09
Lewis County Dad Bods Declare Victory After Fitting Into Size 32 Stretchy Jeans
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In a stunning breakthrough for dad bods everywhere, men across the nation have reported slipping effortlessly into jeans labeled four sizes smaller than their actual waistlines, thanks to a miracle of modern science: stretchy denim.
Local | 2025/07/27
From -Chicken Out- to Checkmate -President Trump Turns T.A.C.O. Insult into Triumph
WASHINGTON, DC — In a recent press conference that could only be described as a fiesta of mockery, the Supreme Ayatollah of Rhetorical Sass, Ali Khameneil, dubbed the President Trump a T.A.C.O.
State | 2025/06/22