LEWIS COUNTY, WA—The Ducks gave new meaning to the words "Poop Deck" after making the Vikings ship a prime target, Napavine's Von Pressentin served up a five TD' sample platter, and the Bearcats Coleman and Serl put on a receiving show

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In a stunning breakthrough for dad bods everywhere, men across the nation have reported slipping effortlessly into jeans labeled four sizes smaller than their actual waistlines, thanks to a miracle of modern science: stretchy denim.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — You can keep your Marvel flicks. Out here, we prefer our movies with a little more mud, mystery, and misplaced priorities. Here's a list of real movies that hit a little too close to home for the fine folks of Lewis County.

CHEHALIS, WA — Local woman Rose Buttree was at home tending to the garden when her husband Roger arrived home from town. When Roger stepped out of his truck, Rose noticed his hands were not empty. In fact, Roger had an —ice-cold— iced americano in one hand and a scone in the other.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA - They say we’re a 'sanctuary county,' lumped in with big-city strongholds of open borders—and Lewis County’s finest nearly choked on their coffee when they saw the DHS list.

CHEHALIS, WA — What began as an innocent park stroll at Stan Hedwall Park on Saturday afternoon quickly devolved into a full-blown police intervention when a 42-year-old local resident innocently lifted his sleeve to reveal his 'wenis.'

CHEHALIS, WA – A normal day turns into anything but, for a local Chehalis woman, as she spots a stranded cat atop a tree and summons local heroes to rescue it

CENTRALIA, WA - As a condition to build in Centralia Station, located off I-5 at exit 81, Chick-fil-a must participate and initiate sign battles with local businesses.

LEWIS COUNTY — In a not very surprising move, the Lewis County Democrats have completely turned away from Jesus to worship the deity of Pastafarianism, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

MORTON, WA — Citizens of Morton erupted at a recent city council meeting after Police Chief Cole Cournyer bravely shut down every bar in town an hour and a half early during the Morton Loggers Jubilee, thereby protecting residents from the horrors of one more Coors Light.

CENTRALIA, WA — City Brings Out Hazmat Team Just in Case the Rainbow Was Contagious

WASHINGTON, DC — In a recent press conference that could only be described as a fiesta of mockery, the Supreme Ayatollah of Rhetorical Sass, Ali Khameneil, dubbed the President Trump a T.A.C.O.