APE CAVES, WA—In what many are calling a masterclass in “do as I say, not as I do,” local father Greg Thompson provided his son, Timmy, with a life lesson he’s not likely to forget.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — You can keep your Marvel flicks. Out here, we prefer our movies with a little more mud, mystery, and misplaced priorities. Here's a list of real movies that hit a little too close to home for the fine folks of Lewis County.

CENTRALIA, WA — City Brings Out Hazmat Team Just in Case the Rainbow Was Contagious

NAPAVINE, WA — In an unprecedented turn of events, Napavine’s legendary pothole on Rush Road has been declared both a Protected Historical Landmark and now officially large enough to be seen from space.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an ingenious, yet absurd move, Commissioners Scott Brummer and Sean Swope have unveiled their boldest solution yet: rather than funnel scarce grant dollars into shelters and rental assistance, they’ve installed an enormous catch basin in the heart of town.

<p>LEWIS COUNTY, WA &mdash; If you're the type of person that hates to waste anything, especially toilet paper, we've created a nice infographic on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass &mdash; Because we care.</p>

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A group of irate senior citizens marched to the Lewis County Jail today to announce a new piece of, what some are calling old-folks legislation.

CHEHALIS, WA — Local woman Rose Buttree was at home tending to the garden when her husband Roger arrived home from town. When Roger stepped out of his truck, Rose noticed his hands were not empty. In fact, Roger had an —ice-cold— iced americano in one hand and a scone in the other.

CHEHALIS, WA – In a move that has locals scratching their heads, the Chehalis City Council (CCC) narrowly approved—by a 6–1 vote—a new ordinance that threatens convenience‐store owners with penalties if thieves keep returning for more.

WINLOCK, WA — In a fantastic display of digital detective work, mayoral hopeful America Lunsford fired off a letter to The Chronicle demanding Winlock’s non-existent communications office apologize for a Facebook page the city doesn’t even run.

NAPAVINE, WA — In what local historians are calling the boldest plot twist since Kevin Costner grew a mullet.

WASHINGTON, DC — In a recent press conference that could only be described as a fiesta of mockery, the Supreme Ayatollah of Rhetorical Sass, Ali Khameneil, dubbed the President Trump a T.A.C.O.