Mass Hysteria Erupts in Centralia as WinCo Foods Opens 24/7 as Walmart Scrambles to Hold the Line
CENTRALIA, WA — The grand opening of WinCo Foods has sent shockwaves through Centralia, as thousands (maybe hundreds) of determined shoppers stormed the aisles in search of 24/7 access to bulk snacks. Eyewitnesses reported scenes of cart-jousting and frantic potato-grabbing as locals declared freedom from their former Walmart allegiance.
Local | 2025/04/07
Cape-Wearing Commissioner Sean Swope Rides Natural Gas Tank Into Battle Against Statewide Ban
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In a historic display of heroism that historians are already comparing to Paul Revere, local legend and gas-powered gladiator Sean Swope has passed a resolution to protect the good people of Lewis County from the looming threat of natural gas bans sweeping across the state of Washington.
Local | 2025/04/06
Democrats Rally Behind Mexican Gang Member Dad, Claim - He's Just Misunderstood
MARYLAND - In a groundbreaking move of empathy-over-logic, Democrats urge the nation to reconsider the deportation of Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, a man they think might just need a hug.
National | 2025/04/04
Teen Criminal Masterminds Confounded That Beating a Man, Stealing Car, Brandishing Gun Leads to Standoff With SWAT
CHEHALIS, WA — In what will surely go down as one of the most brilliant criminal schemes of the decade, two teenage boys with a stolen car, armed with a stolen gun, found themselves utterly baffled when their actions led to an hours-long standoff with law enforcement.
Local | 2025/04/03
Bob Ferguson's Master Plan: 10 Ingenious Taxes to Fund the - Department of No Fun
OLYMPIA, WA - Washington State's Governor Bob Ferguson Unveils Brilliant Blueprint to Ensure No Citizen Escapes the Joyless Grip of the State.
State | 2025/04/03
Bob Ferguson claims he's unaware of the vandalized Tesla Charging Station in Centralia.
CENTRALIA, WA - Governor Bob The Turd Ferguson confused as to why anyone would think that state Democrats had anything to do with the vandalism of Centralia's Tesla charging station.
Politics | 2025/03/22
Local heroes save the day after woman with horrible eye sight reports a cat stuck in tree
CHEHALIS, WA – A normal day turns into anything but, for a local Chehalis woman, as she spots a stranded cat atop a tree and summons local heroes to rescue it
Local | 2025/03/17
Brummer shows up for photo op in pajama's, Swears he wasn't sleeping.
LEWIS COUNTY, WA - County Commissioners wake up from slumber to get their photo taken for the local news paper to honor employees that actually do their jobs. Brummer didn't get formal memo.
Local | 2025/03/16
Lewis County Sheriffs Office now imposing Tariffs on all criminals that want to commit crime.
LEWIS COUNTY, WA - As another way to combat the current budget crisis, Lewis County has proposed new legislation that will impose steep tariffs on criminals that want to do crime.
Local | 2025/03/09
With the arrival of Chick-Fil-A, Centralia expecting epic Sign Battles.. Or Else!
CENTRALIA, WA - As a condition to build in Centralia Station, located off I-5 at exit 81, Chick-fil-a must participate and initiate sign battles with local businesses.
Food | 2025/03/09
Local restaurant makes food so good it'll literally blow your hair back
CHEHALIS, WA - Local restaurant, Northwest Salmon Smokehouse and Artisan Market, is using Smoked Salmon in their recipe's to such a degree, it's almost diabolical!
Food | 2025/06/08
Lewis County Public Works will try to increase employment interest by offering candy
LEWIS COUNTY, WA - In a surprising move, Lewis County Public Works will try increasing employment interest by offering candy
Local | 2025/02/26