Centralia Pride Event Followed Closely By Disinfectant Event
CENTRALIA, WA — City Brings Out Hazmat Team Just in Case the Rainbow Was Contagious
Local | 2025/07/20
Napavine’s Pothole Becomes Historical Landmark and Space-Sized Icon
NAPAVINE, WA — In an unprecedented turn of events, Napavine’s legendary pothole on Rush Road has been declared both a Protected Historical Landmark and now officially large enough to be seen from space.
Local | 2025/07/20
Lewis County Commissioners Turn to Giant Catch Basin to Address Homeless Crisis
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an ingenious, yet absurd move, Commissioners Scott Brummer and Sean Swope have unveiled their boldest solution yet: rather than funnel scarce grant dollars into shelters and rental assistance, they’ve installed an enormous catch basin in the heart of town.
Local | 2025/07/13
Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass — Because we care.
<p>LEWIS COUNTY, WA — If you're the type of person that hates to waste anything, especially toilet paper, we've created a nice infographic on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass — Because we care.</p>
Local | 2025/07/04
Senior Citizens Demand Legal Use of 'Big Go-Kart Thingy's' on Roads Be Deemed Illegal
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — A group of irate senior citizens marched to the Lewis County Jail today to announce a new piece of, what some are calling old-folks legislation.
Local | 2025/07/03
Annoyed Wife —Makes Husband Sleep In Dog House For Not 'Knowing' She Wanted A Coffee Too
CHEHALIS, WA — Local woman Rose Buttree was at home tending to the garden when her husband Roger arrived home from town. When Roger stepped out of his truck, Rose noticed his hands were not empty. In fact, Roger had an —ice-cold— iced americano in one hand and a scone in the other.
Local | 2025/06/28
Chehalis City Counsel to Penalize Store Owners with Fines for Repeat Theft Calls, Stating —Owners are at fault for criminals who keep stealing
CHEHALIS, WA – In a move that has locals scratching their heads, the Chehalis City Council (CCC) narrowly approved—by a 6–1 vote—a new ordinance that threatens convenience‐store owners with penalties if thieves keep returning for more.
Local | 2025/06/27
Mayoral Candidate Demands Apology From Nonexistent City Of Winlock Department For a Facebook Page It Doesn't Own. Eeesh!
WINLOCK, WA — In a fantastic display of digital detective work, mayoral hopeful America Lunsford fired off a letter to The Chronicle demanding Winlock’s non-existent communications office apologize for a Facebook page the city doesn’t even run.
Local | 2025/06/26
Chehalis Tribe Acquires Uncle Sam Billboard, Immediately Roasts Dances with Wolves
NAPAVINE, WA — In what local historians are calling the boldest plot twist since Kevin Costner grew a mullet.
Local | 2025/06/23
From -Chicken Out- to Checkmate -President Trump Turns T.A.C.O. Insult into Triumph
WASHINGTON, DC — In a recent press conference that could only be described as a fiesta of mockery, the Supreme Ayatollah of Rhetorical Sass, Ali Khameneil, dubbed the President Trump a T.A.C.O.
State | 2025/06/22
No Kings Protesters Take to the Streets of Centralia, WA to Remind Citizens That Trump Is Our President
CENTRALIA, WA — In what was intended to be a protest against patriarchy and authoritarianism, the 'No Kings' movement accidentally hosted the most pro-Trump rally Lewis County has seen since the last yard sale at the fairgrounds.
Local | 2025/06/22
Sean Swope Channels William Wallace—Declares Lewis County “Non-Sanctuaried” with Tartan-Topped Proclamation
LEWIS COUNTY, WA - They say we’re a 'sanctuary county,' lumped in with big-city strongholds of open borders—and Lewis County’s finest nearly choked on their coffee when they saw the DHS list.
Local | 2025/06/08