Lewis County HS Football Roundup — Issue #7
LEWIS COUNTY, WA—Centralia looks to play eight-man, Onalaska keeps feeding the wood chipper, Winlock keeps being Winlock, and Pe Ell-Willapa Valley unleash the Kraken.
Sports | 2025/10/19
Napavine Fire Board Upholds Proud Tradition, Fires Yet Another Chief ‘Without Cause’
NAPAVINE, WA—Another month, another chief. Napavine Fire Board keeps its perfect record alive.
Local | 2025/10/17
Lewis County HS Football Weekend Roundup — Issue #6
LEWIS COUNTY, WA—The Ducks gave new meaning to the words "Poop Deck" after making the Vikings ship a prime target, Napavine's Von Pressentin served up a five TD' sample platter, and the Bearcats Coleman and Serl put on a receiving show
Sports | 2025/10/11
Local Reddit User: 'Saving Girls Sports' Is Insanely Pathetic And Anti-Trans'—Also, Massive Dipshit
LEWIS COUNTY,WA—Local reddit user, Password_is_batman, heroically took to the internet to tell the local reddit community of Lewis County about the "Lets Go Washington" petitioners and how evil they are!
Local | 2025/10/09
Lewis County HS Football Roundup — Issue #5
Wyatt Hoffman carved up the Aberdeen defense, Napavine doesn't like to win, PWV brings the fury of Zeus!
Sports | 2025/10/05
Bob 'Turd' Ferguson And Jimmy Kimmel Celebrate His Return To TV While Sharing Electric Horse Ride
OLYMPIA, WA—The political world was rocked this week by the deeply personal, and frankly unsettling, emotional distress of Washington State Attorney General Bob "Turd" Ferguson following Jimmy Kimmel’s brief suspension from late-night television.
State | 2025/09/28
Lewis County High School Football Roundup Issue #4
Onalaska continues to 'chop down' the competition, PWV steps down to 8-man football for a game, and Napavine suffer major blow and 3rd straight loss. Meanwhile, Wyatt Hoffman of WF West amasses 456 total yards against Shelton!
Sports | 2025/09/28
State Unveils 'Healthy Youth Survey,' Politely Asks Children For Everything Short Of Their Social Security Number
OLYMPIA, WA — In a bold new privacy initiative, Washington officials announced the “Healthy Youth Survey,” a cheerful, school-day questionnaire that totally isn’t about harvesting private family intel
Local | 2025/09/28
Lewis County Democrats dump Jesus, turn to Flying Spaghetti Monster
LEWIS COUNTY — In a not very surprising move, the Lewis County Democrats have completely turned away from Jesus to worship the deity of Pastafarianism, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Local | 2025/09/13
Lewis County Leaders Hold Emergency Meeting To Brainstorm Bold New Ways To Spend Money They Don’t Have
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — County officials convened an emergency “innovation summit” Friday to develop fresh strategies for overspending and mishandling taxpayer funds, sources confirmed.
Local | 2025/09/08
Police Chief Heroically Saves Morton From Dangerous Hour Of Extra Beer
MORTON, WA — Citizens of Morton erupted at a recent city council meeting after Police Chief Cole Cournyer bravely shut down every bar in town an hour and a half early during the Morton Loggers Jubilee, thereby protecting residents from the horrors of one more Coors Light.
Local | 2025/09/02
Family’s End-Of-Summer Trip To Walupt Lake Turns Out To Be A Full-Blown College Party Hangout
WALUPT LAKE, WA — Hoping for birdsong and the gentle slap of water on the shore, a local family arrived at Walupt Lake this weekend and instead discovered a pop-up university offering courses in Portable Subwoofer Studies, Shouting Across Water 101, and Intermediate “Woooo!”.
Local | 2025/08/29