WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reportedly ordered NASA’s Artemis astronauts to the moon this week with one clear directive: remove the “man in the moon” and replace it with his own face, officially renaming the lunar surface feature “Trump On The Moon.”

CHEHALIS, WA — A rare double rainbow lit up the skies across western Lewis County yesterday

CENTRALIA, WA — City officials assure residents they are closely monitoring a developing situation and expect to continue monitoring it until further monitoring is required.

<p>LEWIS COUNTY, WA &mdash; If you're the type of person that hates to waste anything, especially toilet paper, we've created a nice infographic on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper: A How-To Guide to Wiping Your Ass &mdash; Because we care.</p>

JERUSALEM - In a stunning display of academic head-scratching, a team of world-renowned archaeologists and scientists announced today they are 'completely dumbfounded' by the discovery of an ancient tomb labeled 'Jesus' that contains—brace yourself—absolutely nothing.

GLENOMA, WA — A local man’s confidence is shattered after a cheese stick wrapper clearly labeled “Peel Here” refuses to open, forcing him to hand it to his wife in defeat.

CHEHALIS, WA — Lewis County unveils a modernized Lady Justice statue featuring a VR headset, digital scale, and a bold new look—leaving residents both impressed and slightly confused.

LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Rural residents are urged to prepare as city hipsters descend on local campgrounds for Memorial Day weekend, armed with flannels, beard oil, espresso gear, and one weekend of survival skills.

CHEHALIS, WA — Middle-aged local rocker insists his band is finally about to make it after 25 years, despite living with his parents and playing mostly empty local gigs.

CHEHALIS, WA — A local dad who recently got into homebrewing has reportedly assured his family that the sudden shrinking of every shirt, pair of jeans, hoodie, and jacket in the house has absolutely nothing to do with the five-gallon batches of beer now fermenting in the garage.

CHEHALIS, WA — Local Lewis County Democratic Party chairman Zach Eckstein announced this week that if elected county commissioner, he plans to bring weekly “No Kings” marches, regular public LARPing events, and a county-sponsored Quidditch league to Lewis County, giving voters the bold reassurance that local government can, in fact, become even more embarrassing

NAPAVINE, WA — In an unprecedented turn of events, Napavine’s legendary pothole on Rush Road has been declared both a Protected Historical Landmark and now officially large enough to be seen from space.