New Commissioner Shocked To Learn Experienced Officials Don’t Immediately Set Fire To Legal Strategy In First 90 Days
CENTRALIA, Wash. — Port of Centralia Commissioner Ally Pickard reportedly expressed frustration this week after veteran commissioners Peter Lahmann and Kyle Markstrom declined to abandon an ongoing legal strategy simply because the newest person in the room had a fresh feeling about it.
General | April 11, 2026
Lewis County Needs a Commissioner, Not a Cause-Driven Activist
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — Is Kyle Wheeler running to govern Lewis County, or just looking for a bigger stage for activism? Voters have reason to ask before handing over a commissioner seat
Politics | April 13, 2026
Bob Ferguson's Master Plan: 10 Ingenious Taxes to Fund the - Department of No Fun
OLYMPIA, WA - Washington State's Governor Bob Ferguson Unveils Brilliant Blueprint to Ensure No Citizen Escapes the Joyless Grip of the State.
State | 2025/04/03
Lewis County Democrats Chairman Promises Weekly “No Kings” Marches, Public LARPing, And County Quidditch League If Elected
CHEHALIS, WA — Local Lewis County Democratic Party chairman Zach Eckstein announced this week that if elected county commissioner, he plans to bring weekly “No Kings” marches, regular public LARPing events, and a county-sponsored Quidditch league to Lewis County, giving voters the bold reassurance that local government can, in fact, become even more embarrassing
General | March 31, 2026
Napavine’s Pothole Becomes Historical Landmark and Space-Sized Icon
NAPAVINE, WA — In an unprecedented turn of events, Napavine’s legendary pothole on Rush Road has been declared both a Protected Historical Landmark and now officially large enough to be seen from space.
Local | 2025/07/20
Centralia Pride Event Followed Closely By Disinfectant Event
CENTRALIA, WA — City Brings Out Hazmat Team Just in Case the Rainbow Was Contagious
Local | 2025/07/20
Chehalis Tribe Acquires Uncle Sam Billboard, Immediately Roasts Dances with Wolves
NAPAVINE, WA — In what local historians are calling the boldest plot twist since Kevin Costner grew a mullet.
Local | 2025/06/23
Double Rainbow Stuns Lewis County, Locals Report Leprechaun Sprinting Toward Fuller’s Market
CHEHALIS, WA — A rare double rainbow lit up the skies across western Lewis County yesterday
Local | 2025/10/25
Lewis County Commissioners Hold Secret Late-Night Meeting In Van To Discuss Budget Crisis, Accidentally Solve It
LEWIS COUNTY, WA — In an effort to find new ways to shore up the county’s struggling budget, Lewis County commissioners reportedly held a highly confidential strategy meeting late Monday night inside a vintage Volkswagen van parked under a streetlight at an undisclosed location.
Local | 2026/03/06
Pe Ell Man Accused of Maintaining Eye Contact While Eating Banana -- Now Deeply Regrets Decision
PE ELL, WA - What started as a harmless afternoon snack has turned into a small-town scandal after local resident Gary -Banana Eyes- Thompson made the unsettling choice to maintain full, unbroken eye contact while eating a banana at the Pe Ell gas station.
Local | 2025/04/12
City of Napavine to add 16 more fuel stations to Exit 72, because why not?
NAPAVINE,WA - In a stunning turn of events this week, Napavine agreed to add 16 more fuel stations just off Interstate 5 at Exit 72. When asked why, we were told, why not...
Local | 2025/04/19
Napavine Residents Warned to “Brace for Chaos” as Road Striping Season Looms Like a Hungover Picasso
NAPAVINE, WA — City officials have issued a formal warning to residents: “Brace for chaos.” The announcement comes ahead of the annual road striping season, which in Napavine is less a maintenance project and more a community-wide endurance test.
Local | 2025/04/19